Back to December

Hello December!

This is the only phrase that I can say to the world when you come.

Last December there were a lot of things happened in my life.

I know the Taylor Swift's song: Back to December, maybe from earlier 2011, but when I first listened to the song, there's nothing special in my heart. Oke, she is (Taylor) very multi-talented and [I really like you Taylor!] But I didnt like the song because it's so sad. And I never hear that song again. After now, when December come once again in my life and I felt the "difference" in this song. That lyrics make me remember something. 

Something that happened in last December, in 2011. First time I left my previous university and went to be a part of Indonesian State College of Accountancy. I realized that's the first time I "left" you. And after that, all that happened between us really different. I still remembered when you said "If I Im goin to be accepted in the other university, I wouldnt go."

And I said, "Why?"

"Because I have found that I lookin for. And I won't leave it." You said.

I dont know yet what you meant but I just wanna say sorry but I can't be as good as you. I couldn't put it up with you.

So, this December, when I once again listen to this song, I remembered you.

I know you'll never ever read this, I just wanna put all I felt into this electronical-paper.

And this December, I dont know why but I feel lonely (without you). Is it right?

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life? Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while

 

You've been good, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up, and I know why

 

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

 

So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

 

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time

 

These days, I haven't been sleeping

Staying up, playing back myself leaving

When your birthday passed, and I didn't call

 

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side

And realized I loved you in the fall

 

And then the cold came, the dark days

When fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

 

So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

 

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

 

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

 

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

 

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

 

This is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December

 

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time, all the time

Oh my God! I gotta go, move on, and get a life!